


The Ones Left Behind

by Lotornomiko



Category: She-Ra: Princess Of Power
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Eventual Romance, F/F, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:42:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3952798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotornomiko/pseuds/Lotornomiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Total Revamp and rewrite of an old unfinished story of mine. Adora's left the Horde, determined to atone for past sins. Catra cannot forget about her and feels abandoned. When a new Queen takes control of planet Argo, it offers opprotunites for the Horde to not only gain a powerfuly ally and energy source, but a chance to reclaim Adora by any means possible.</p>
<p>Rape Warning for second half of chapter one...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Standard Disclaimer time: I do not own the cartoon series She-ra Princess of Power, nor do I own the characters found in this story. I make no money off of this fic. This is done purely for entertainment purposes.

\---Michelle

It is the soft sound of laughter that wakes me, the gentle happiness it contains so foreign and unfamiliar in this place. I am used to the wicked amusement my fellow Hordesmen express, the malicious delight they take in hurting others. It is a rough noise, so different from the quiet joy you express. I instantly know that no one has had to suffer for that laugh, and my own lips curve in a welcoming smile.

A kiss follows that smile, the softest lips I have ever felt touching my own. There is no hesitation in you, your lips slanting over mine so that our mouths fit together perfectly. And with that connection, a fire awakens within me. You respond with an answering hunger, the kiss deepening with urgent need. We don't just use our lips, we add tongue and teeth to the kiss. Licking one minute, doing tender nips the next. It is no hardship to open to you, your tongue bringing your taste to me as it glides into my mouth. 

You taste sweet, my tongue moving urgently against yours. Trying for every bit of contact, my hands pulling you more firmly against me. Letting me feel the soft contours of your body, your large breasts pressing against mine. Your nipples have already stiffened, that bit of hardness rubbing against my own. Pleasure erupts at that contact, my moan being issued into the kiss. I want more and know I will never be able to have enough of you, even as my hands frantically clutch and move over your body.

That laughter again, the sweetest sound I have ever heard. Together we move, rolling on the bed so that I end up on top of you. I sink my weight into you, wanting to pin you in place so that you can never leave. I suppose even then I knew this wasn't real, that your presence here was nothing more than the conjuring of a lonely mind. But I don't want to acknowledge that I am dreaming, that I am desperately longing to recapture the past. 

Your hand touches my cheek. It is the gentleness you use that brings me to open my eyes. I stare down at you. seeing the soft blue of your eyes that look at me with tender adoration. A familiar pain tightens my chest. You don't look at me that way anymore. You haven't for months now. Nor have I been privy to your smile, your touch, your taste, or any bit of regard. You've completely tossed me aside, holding no care or concern for me, nor any contempt. I don't mean anything to you now, and perhaps I never did.

"What's wrong?" You ask, and I realize a tear has slipped down my cheek. I shake my head, and you reach up to catch my face with your hands. The tears truly start then as you begin to lick at the wet trails they leave. I tremble, my voice hoarse as I say your name.

"Adora." 

I can't bear the kindness the you of my dreams show me. I roughly grab at your shoulders, pushing you back down to the bed. Wanting to bury inside you, bury my pain and heartbreak into the feel of your body. I kiss you now, and it is practically violent, my teeth scraping over your bottom lip. You have no complaint to voice, accepting everything about me which only stirs my upset even more. 

You react to my turmoil, trying to reach for me. I bat away your hands, pinning your wrists above your head. You don't struggle save to arch against me, so that our bodies slide together. Your legs have spread to fit around my body in blatant invitation. You want whatever I'll give you, even if this should turn violent and I hurt you. 

Oh Adora....I want so much more than to hurt you. I want your tears and your smiles, want to hear your laughter again and again. I want the sweet taste of you on my tongue, want to hear you moan my name. Just as I want to make you bleed, to see you cry out in pain. I want your everything, for you to exist for nothing and no one but me. I want to make you regret the choices you have made. I want you to realize you need me more than you need air to breathe. 

This dream is nothing more than futile fancy. No matter what I do to you here, you'll still completely ignore me in the waking world. And yet Adora, you are too tempting a morsel to resist, even if you are nothing more than a figment of my imagination. I let go of your wrists, needing my hands free to touch you. I caress up and down the sides of your body, teasing you before I make a move towards your breasts. You tremble beneath me, and begin a delightful dance, squirming in response to my hand's caresses.

Your breasts are larger than my small hands can easily hold. I make the effort all the same, fingers flexing, working to massage that pliant flesh. I fondle and squeeze you, than circle the tips of my long nails around your nipples. You moan then, a breathy plea to me.

"Catra...." You say. "Don't tease me..."

You don't truly mean that. You've always loved the tease, the torture of the build up almost more than the satisfying climaxes I have given you in the past. You are a greedy creature Adora, your appetite for pleasure knowing no bounds, matching, perhaps even surpassing my own. How often have we spent days just pleasuring each other, shut away from the world and the responsibilities of our jobs? 

My lips pucker, and I hear you breathe out a pleased yes. You're an impatient girl, Adora, pushing insistently at my mouth so that your nipple slips past my lips. I don't mind, hungry for you. I suck and pull, lips tugging insistently at you. My tongue thoroughly moistens your nipple as you writhe against me. You make incoherent sounds, and a glance up at your face shows your blue eyes have glazed over with pleasure. How much more will you enjoy yourself when I turn my mouth to elsewhere on your body?

I'll find out soon enough, but for now I am more than happy to focus on your breasts. Your body is truly a feast, Adora, a favorite meal I can't help having again and again. And I've gone so long without it, I am a starving woman. But the dream you can't truly satisfy my hunger. Even as I began to suck more furiously on your nipple, I am aware of the void left in me. The pain that guts me like a knife and it is your hand that twists the handle. 

When your fingers delve between my legs, their soft touch stroking insistently along my wet slit, I jolt awake for real. I am prepared for my bed to be empty, and still it tears me apart to see that I am alone in my room. Alone and aching, restless and needy, hurting and wanting to hurt in return. I don't know which is worse. The pain of your abandonment, or the arousal the dream you has stirred in me. My nipples ache, and I am wet between my legs. I need you Adora, and know that is not an option available to me.

I want to cry but refuse to let you bring me down so low. I'll channel my hurt feelings into anger, and I'll go looking for a target to vent my rage on. The troopers that stand watch over the slave pens hardly look surprised to see me. Some might even smirk knowingly. It's not the first time I've come to this part of the Horde's lair, at this time of night, in this state. I am disheveled, my black hair wild and uncombed. I didn't even take the time to get dressed, throwing on a simple robe to cover my nakedness. My eyes hold a crazed look to them, the slaves that are paraded past looking frightened to see me. They are not comforted that I am a woman, knowing that a member of the Horde has to be cruel no matter what their gender is.

Anxiety builds within me as I search through the crowds of bedraggled slaves. I have very specific tastes, and fear there will be no one left to suit them. But finally I find her. A young woman with long blond hair, and eyes that aren't quite as vibrant a blue as Adora's. She is a recent capture, not having spent long in the slave pits. She hasn't had the time to be dirtied, her clothes relatively clean, with only a few cuts here and there. I feel fortunate to have found her, knowing another one of the force commanders could have beaten me to her.

"She's coming with me." I announce, and though the slaves are horrified, they do not vocally protests. They are too beaten down for that. The troopers drag the girl forward, and then I snatch her from their hands. She stumbles as I drag her back to my room, my pace hurried. My anger and arousal have not cooled one bit, and this girl will suffer for that.

We barely get into my room, and already I am slamming her into the wall opposite my bed. She can't quite stop her scream, and then my mouth is covering hers. She is braver than I expect, her hands suddenly pushing at me. But she is merely human, and can't possible expect to move one of my strength and determination. I kiss her harder, my mouth demanding she open to me. She refuses, the blonde preferring her lip be cut on my teeth rather than submit to my kiss. It's all right with me. I don't mind if she struggles.

I purposefully bite down on her bottom lip, hearing the pained sound she makes. She is still trying to shove me away from her, struggling and squirming as best she can when my hands dig into her tunic. The fabric catches on my nails, tearing apart easily. She screams again, but has no chance to cover herself before I am pulling her away from the wall. I let go of her only long enough to shove her onto the bed, and I can see the fear in her eyes. It's that fear that leads to her indecision, this girl not knowing what to do. She should try to run but instead she wastes her chance to try and pull her tunic close.

"Please..." She chokes on a sob, shaking violently. I slide off my robe, and join her on the bed. "Please don't do this."

I don't bother to respond to her pleas. She's too pretty to not be raped by someone in the horde. She should be grateful it's me and not one of the men Hordack employs or Scorpia. Even with the anger churning inside me, I'll never be quite as cruel as those others have proven to be.

She backs away from me as I crawl towards her. I know my eyes must look predatory, my prey turning even more terrified of me. I reach for her ankle, and haul her back towards me. Again she cries out a please, but I don't care. I am shifting us both so that I can kneel over her face. My legs are spread, and I grip her blonde hair, pressing her face against my sex. Her scream is muffled, and sounds again when I reach behind me to pinch one of her nipples.

"You will lick me now." I tell her in a commanding tone that brooks no argument. She doesn't immediately try, instead attempting to knock me off her. But my enhanced strength makes it no trouble to hold her against me, and it is not long before I feel the first tentative touch of her tongue between my legs. "More." I snap out. Such a weak touch does nothing for me. I want firm strokes, want her to be bold as she licks over my slit, her tongue thrusting furiously inside me. I want her tongue everywhere, especially on my clit. But the hesitant licking continues, the girl constantly pausing to sob. 

"Harder!" I hiss. "If you want this to end anytime soon..." My threat goes unfinished, her tongue turning bold. Moving along the length of my soaked slit, though the way she uses her tongue tells of her inexperience with this act. "Better." I gruffly acknowledge. I shift just a little, her tongue continuing it's near frantic licking. I can tell she's going to suffocate before I'll reach my climax, and my anger and frustration mount by droves.

"Useless!" I snarl, and get off of her. She just lays there, her chest heaving as the slave takes in gasping lungfuls of air. She seems so focused on breathing that she doesn't take care to watch me. Perhaps she is that grateful to have me get off the bed. She shouldn't be. I've gone over to my dresser, to the drawer where I keep my toys. There is many, a veritable treasure trove of erotic odds and ends. I reach for what I want, a double ended dildo that is longer than my arm. It slides in easily inside me, I'm simply that wet.

The slave girl can't make that same claim. She hasn't enjoyed one minute inside my bedroom. But I won't hurt her in that way, taking care to pour a generous amount of lube all over the other end of the dildo. By this time the panting fool has recovered enough to sit up. Her eyes widened when she sees what I have. She now realizes she hasn't been spared of anything, that her torment has not ended.

Before she can do more than scream, I flip her onto her stomach. I grab at her hips, hauling her ass upwards. She's screaming, begging me to not do this. She simply hasn't learned that her pleas are useless. I position myself against her, guiding the lubed up end of the dildo against her sex. She screams louder at the feel of being penetrated, the dildo spreading her open slowly. 

She is not a virgin. And yet she screams like one. It is a relief when she buries her face into the mattress, silencing the worst of her screams. I stare down at her, and realize from the back she could pass for Adora, the cut and color of her hair the same as my former lover. Grief pounds in my chest, followed by a surge of anger. I am rougher than I intended to be, suddenly thrusting forward. The girl tries to lurch forward, as though she can stop the dildo from invading her insides. My nails dig into her hips, holding her there, hauling her back towards me so that the end of the dildo inside me moves. 

It is in this way that we both feel it, every forward thrust of mine generating friction inside the slave girl. The bucking of her body's attempt to get away, has the end of the dildo inside me moving in delightful ways. It's not long before I lose myself to the feel, gruffly moving my hips in a wild manner. The slave girl has stopped screaming, is not even crying. She has resigned herself to what is happening. 

I bend over her, pressing my lips to the back of her shoulder. All I can focus on is the pleasure, and the color of her hair. With no screams to tell me otherwise, I lose myself to the fantasy that this is Adora beneath me. I begin moaning, calling out Adora's name again and again. I work my hips harder, almost frantic as I feel myself come close to a climax. It's building, and will not be denied, and for that moment I forget, and truly believe this is Adora I am fucking.

I scream out my climax, feeling things tighten inside me. My passage squeezes tighter around the dildo inside me, constricting rhythmically in the desire to milk something out of it. My hips have stopped moving, and I collapse. I'm still thinking it's Adora when I roll the girl towards me, intent on snuggling her close. When I see her tear streaked face, I freeze. It hits me in an instant. This is not Adora, and it's a painful realization. 

I no longer have the desire to lay there basking in the bliss of my climax. My stomach is cramping, I think I might be ill. But more than that, I want to lash out. To hurt this girl for not being Adora. I actually slap her several times, before pulling back. I know hurting this girl won't change anything, won't bring back Adora to me. Maybe nothing will, but I can't give up on my dream. If I can't sway her to return to the Horde, to return to me, there are other ways to get what I want. Or at least a semblance of it. I want Adora that badly, that I'll settle for even just a part of her. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued.....


	2. Two

On Etheria, the days are twice as long as it's nights, and yet it is only when the sun has set that I truly feel time dragging on. It torments me, the nights seemingly endless, my heart hurting and yearning for Adora. Wanting that which is denied to me, that which I might never have again. My bed is lonely without her, and no amount of fair haired slaves can change that, no matter how many and how often I use them. 

And yet I can't stop trying, searching among the slaves to fill the hole in my heart. Hoping that someone, someday, might be enough to make me forget even for a little while the memory of Adora. But the fear in their eyes, the screams of pain and disgust they let out, does nothing but bring me to the stark realization that it's not Adora I hurt and embrace. 

It's been six months since she has left me, Six long months since she turned her back on the Horde. It feels even longer, Adora having spent much of this time ignoring me. She doesn't answer my calls, doesn't respond to my threats. She almost never appears before me, content to let She-ra and the other rebels fight Adora's battles for her. I've had to settle with satisfying myself with brief glimpses of Adora, watching her from afar. 

But the looks don't appease my need for her. I want so much more than to see her retreating back, or to hear her voice raising a call to battle. I want to hold her, kiss her. Lick over every inch of her body. Just as I want to hurt her, make her scream out in penance for the cruel way she abandoned me. I both love and hate Adora, despise her for leaving me. And yet all would be forgiven, if she would just come back to me! 

Instead I am the one left behind, the one left to sadness, the one stewing in hate and misery. I can't cry out my pain, instead unleashing my fury on any and all who remind me of Adora. They don't even have to look much like her, just hold some characteristic or trait that triggers a memory in me. The sweet torment of my memories always boils over, my claws coming out. Tearing into flesh in a way a whip alone would never do. 

It's never enough. And it's all because it's not her. I can't ever escape my feelings, the past I shared with Adora. I'm going mad from the torture of it all, the agony of being abandoned, forgotten by her. I want her, need Adora to take me back, to rekindle the passion we once shared together. But has that flame been completely doused on her side? I don't know, but I've heard the rumors, the talk that she's taken a lover. A no good pirate by the name of Seahawk, a scoundrel that has betrayed the Horde. I don't know if the rumors are true, but I could gladly kill that man on just suspicion alone. 

As bad as those suspicions are, the truth might be worst. The thought of having to face the reality that Adora might have really moved on, that she loves another might kill off the last shred of my sanity. I need her to be hurting, need Adora to be aching with need for me. I lie to myself, insisting she longs just as badly for me, and that it is her friends, the rebels, that keep Adora from returning. I try to convince myself that the Etherian nights must be just as much agony for Adora as they are for me, all the while trying to come up with a plan to get near to her once more. 

Plans are made, and plans fail, my concentration shot. I can't seem to focus on much of anything, the pain and hurt rendering me all but useless but not blind to the fact my shoddy performances displease Hordak greatly. I am dangerously close to being demoted, or worse. It makes me shudder to think how much worse things could become for me, and yet I can't seem to pull it together long enough to do something about my situation. 

The other members of the Horde wait for my fall with great anticipation. Some hunger for my position, while others want the chance to take a piece of me. It won't all be about sex and humiliation, some like Grizzlor might very well want to physically hurt me in retaliation for my own past attitudes towards him. 

There's no way to protect myself from the other members of the Horde. Not if I continue to displease Hordak. He'll toss me aside without a second thought, and there will be no one to help me, no one to care to try. Adora's no longer a part of this, and I have no one else, no one close enough to call friend or lover. 

I'm on my own, alone and wounded though the scars Adora has left are not visible. But they're real enough, hurting me, disabling me to the point I can't function as I normally would. I move around the lair, my head in a daze, my thoughts focused more on the past and my pain than what is going on in my present. I nearly jump in fright when Hordak angrily bellows out my name, the other force captains snickering meanly. 

"Catra!" 

"Yes, Master Hordak?" My voice is steady, betraying nothing of what I feel. But inside I flinch and tremble, waiting for a blow that could fall at any minute. Hordak will not care that I am a woman, will not let that fact stop him from lashing out against one who has displeased him as much as I have. 

"You're not even listening, are you?" He demands, his red eyes narrowed and glowing with displeasure. I shouldn't hesitate, and yet I know either answer I could give, could easily earn me a session on the wrong end of a whip's lash. 

Again that mean snickering from the other members of the Horde. "Most likely she's too busy thinking about Adora." This from Octavia, that green skinned bitch smirking at me. I can't even respond, too busy keeping a wary eye on Hordak. 

"Isn't Adora all she ever thinks about these days?" wonders another, the monster Leech hissing. I could almost flush in embarrassment, but there is no denying the truth of what Leech says. I know it, he knows it, hell everyone in the lair must know it by now, what with the trail of broken blondes I've left behind me. 

"She'd best serve master Hordak and the Horde if she did more than just daydream." sniffed a haughty Entrapta. 

A growl erupts from my throat, my fingers itching to curl into claws and go for the long haired woman's throat. "I don't see you producing any better results when it comes to Adora and the Rebellion!" 

"It's not my fault you can't succeed with the plans I come up with!" Entrapta immediately retorts, glaring at me. 

I scowled, the urge to tear out her throat growing more urgent within me. "You're not going to put the blame solely on me. Not when you helped bungle the operation with the Rebellion's seer!" 

"You..." 

"Enough!" Hordak barks out, slamming his hands on the arm rests of his throne. "I am tired of the excuses, the failures, and the squabbling over who gets blame for what. I want results, and I want them now!" 

Entrapta is visibly peeved to have been cut off, though she refrains from sniping at Hordak. "Yes, master Hordak." She says, and gestures for one of our female soldiers to step forward. The woman is carrying a sheaf of papers, expression blank of fright and interest as she moves towards Hordak's throne. 

"As you are about to see..." continues Entrapta. "I've already come up with several plans for your consideration. All you need do is approve one of them and...." 

"I already have a plan." Hordak interrupts to all of our surprise. The female trooper hesitates at the foot of the throne's stairs, unsure of what to do now. 

"Y...you do?" A nervous inquiry from Mantenna, the fool standing precariously close to the trap door Hordak so favors using. 

"Is it really that surprising?" Hordak demands, his finger already poised over the trap door's trigger. Mantenna looks panicked, as though he doesn't know how to answer the question without being dunked into the lair's sewer. 

"It's just...." 

"Just what?" Hordak narrows his eyes into a glare that for once isn't aimed at me. 

"You're usually not so....you don't..." Mantenna is faltering, trying to find something to say that won't get him in trouble. "You don't often involve yourself this actively in the plans...." 

The trigger is pressed, the trap door opening beneath Matenna's right foot. It's enough to set the three legged creature off balance, the red skinned male wind milling his arms in an attempt to keep from falling. It prove futile, Matenna tipping over anyway, a scream and then a loud splash following his fall. 

"Anyone else want to imply I am a lazy master?" Hordak asks, calm as can be. A quick chorus of no and head shakes follow his question, and then his beady red eyed gaze is upon me once more. "Catra, are you aware that the Horde has been talking with the Argonian's new Queen?" 

Somehow I manage to keep the surprise off my face. The Horde didn't have the best relationship with the Argonian's, maintaining an uneasy truce. A truce that would be at an end if Horde Prime ever discovered a way to get past the energy shield around the Argonian's planet. The Argonian's were well aware of this fact, and knew how much Horde Prime coveted their main resource, power cells. These power cells were the greatest source of energy this part of the galaxy had, and nothing stronger had yet to be discovered. 

A single power cell had almost led to the destruction of all of Etheria, one of Hordak's less thought out schemes that had involved the use of a faulty one. It was one of the few times the Horde had to grudgingly admit their mistakes, and we actually owed She-ra for saving us and the planet. Not that the Horde would ever thank that meddlesome woman, nor had we learned from past errors if what Hordak was saying meant what I thought it did. 

"The new Queen?" I said out loud. My brow furrowed as I tried to remember what I knew about Argonian and it's royal house. 

"She is from a world that is Horde friendly." Hordak supplied. "The marriage between her and the Argonian's King was meant to bring a lasting peace between those two worlds. Unfortunately for them, the King recently died." 

"And that is why the Argonian Queen would even consider opening talks with the Horde." I realized out loud. 

"Exactly." Hordak smirked in satisfaction. "We have been working to cut a deal with her. To garner our own inexhaustible supply of Argonian power cells." 

I couldn't keep the shock off my face, astounded by the news. Hordak looked at my expression, and let out a laugh, leaning back comfortably in his throne. 

"There is some....obstacles of course." But he didn't seem very bothered by whatever those obstacles could be. "The Argonian populace at large is against such a transaction. Fortunately for us, the Argonian world is not a democracy but a monarchy that hinges on the Queen's decrees." 

"Then they'll try to remove her from the throne, may even assassinate her." I said. 

"We've already moved to provide her with protection." Hordak assured me. "But the bigger problem is the fact that someone let slip to the Rebellion what is happening. Already their leaders are in talk with the Argonian Queen, demanding a chance to present their point of view and sway her decision." 

"That can't be allowed to happen!" protested Leech, the other Horde members voicing similar. 

"It won't." 

"How can you be sure?" Octavia was lucky she didn't get dumped into the sewer with Matenna. 

"Because I intend to send my own representatives to the Argonian world." Hordak answered. 

"You're going to have us debate a win?" 

Splash went the waters, as another Hordesmen was dumped into the sewers. 

"The Queen's all but made up her mind." Hordak stated calmly though his eyes danced with his annoyance. "It's almost a guarantee that she'll force the Argonians to side with us." 

"And if she doesn't?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. We'd take what we wanted by force. 

"Then we'll use the opportunity presented to us to take what we want." Hordak answered. "The Argonians have agreed to allow a small number of representatives from both the Rebellion and the Horde past the shield, onto their world. It should be child's play for the Horde to locate and turn off the shielding, which will allow more of our ships through." He grinned then. "In one fell swoop, the Argonian world will fall, and along with it the Rebellion!" 

It didn't sound easy to me, but I didn't dare complain. "And just who will you be entrusting this mission to?" I ask. 

"So good of you to ask." Hordak said, still grinning. "I intend for you to be one of the force captains to lead this mission." 

"You can't be serious!" 

"Why her!" 

"Don't entrust such an important mission to this proven failure!" 

"Of course...Entrapta will be accompanying you." Hordak continued over the complaints. Entrapta and I exchanged hostile looks, her magenta colored hair twitching in agitation. 

"Master Hordak, I think I can better serve you on Etheria...." 

"Think again." Hordak snapped. "We'll need your genius to be able to hack into whatever systems control the shielding. But more than that, I need you to keep an eye on Catra, make sure she doesn't run into any problems." 

"So I'm expected to play babysitter in addition to my other duties?!" Entrapta demanded. "Master Hordak, in that case why even send Catra?" 

"Because she has a special role to play." His eyes locked onto mine, waiting, watching for my reaction. "We know for a fact Adora will be one of the rebellion representatives going to the Argonian world." 

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, leaving me to suck back the gasp I wanted to let out. The instant I heard Adora's name, the familiar pain flared up, as did a sudden excitement. For I knew, knew without a doubt, that it would all happen on the Argonian world. For good or for bad, I would see Adora, and this time, on this world, she'd have little chance to run from me. 

Even as I had that thought, I knew it wasn't wise to send me on this mission. I really would be distracted, consumed with thoughts of getting Adora alone. 

"Send someone else." It cost me to even suggest such a thing. But it was the right thing to do for the Horde. 

"You're the only one suited for this." Hordak insisted. "If we're going to get Adora back...." 

"Get her back?" I echoed like a dullard. "I thought you had given up on that, on her." 

"I spent a lot of time and money on Adora." Hordak stated. "I spent years grooming her into the perfect force captain. I'm not about to see her potential wasted with the rebellion." 

I stared at him, searching for the truths he would not, could not voice. Hordak had after all, once been a father to Adora, though kidnapper was the more accurate term. A part of me couldn't help but wonder if he didn't still retain a certain fondness for the woman, some kernel of love that he would deny an evil being capable of having. 

"You are going to do everything in your power to bring Adora back to us." Hordak continued in a gruff, almost embarrassed tone. 

"And what if I can't convince her to return?" 

"You're to bring her here regardless of her wants." Hordak told me. "Shadow Weaver will take care of the rest." 

"Brainwash you mean." I couldn't help correcting. 

Hordak merely shrugged, unapologetic about the methods he would use to get what he wanted. "You're to leave in two days time. Shadow Weaver will brief you both on further details of this mission. Entrapta, choose your third wisely." 

"Yes, Master Hordak." Entrapta bowed. And just like that we were all dismissed. 

The force captains didn't clamor for Entrapta's attention. They knew how important this mission was, the glory that would be given upon our victory. But they were also aware of what could happen should we fail, and the Hordes triumph wasn't assured. It hadn't been a sure thing in six months time now, our losing streak starting when Adora had left us. 

Some part of me wondered if that was the reason why Hordak was so desperate to get her back. That maybe he thought with Adora's return, our bad luck would end, and the Horde would finally gain the ultimate victory over the Rebellion. But I didn't for one second believe that even Adora could help us to defeat She-ra. 

She-ra was our biggest problem. I wondered if she would come with the rebellion to the Argonian world. Or if she would stay to guard Etheria from further Horde threats. I suppose I didn't care much either way, so long as that damned woman stayed far away from me. There was too much at stake, and not just my fractured relationship with Adora. I knew without Hordak actually saying it, that this was my last chance. My last chance with Adora, and with the Horde. I wish i could say I cared more about the latter, but the sad truth was my thoughts were all for Adora, anticipation readying itself in my stomach. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued.....


	3. Three

It is with a precise carefulness that I walk, my steps slow, and measured to the sway of the boat. To an outside observer, I would appear to be one who is used to the unsettling bobbing the sea's waters forces the boat to take, but I know better. Should the waters turn violent from the churning of a storm, I would soon be knocked down on the planks, scrabbling desperately for something to grab a secure hold of. 

Fortunately, this three day journey has been nothing but smooth sailing. The clear skies a blessing from the Gods. I can only wish that we be so lucky in other areas as we have been with the weather, thinking of what awaits us once we make port. The true journey will begin, I, along with several of trusted allies, will be boarding a ship of a different kind. That ship will take us where this wave rider can not, our journey reaching beyond the stars, to another planet entirely. 

Argo. It is a world I have never been to. But I knew of it. Even before the fiasco where a faulty Argonian power cell had nearly destroyed all of Etheria, I had known of Argo. Everyone in the Horde, perhaps everyone in this part of the universe had known of Argo. We certainly knew of their power cells, and what they were capable of. It wasn't power unlimited, but it came close, the cells holding vast amounts of energy each. One cell alone could destroy a planet, just as easily as it could protect it, forming a shield that nothing and no one could get through. 

That shield was why the Horde had never been able to gain a steady supply of the power cells. That they had been unable to invade the planet, forced to play scavenger, taking whatever cells they could find off ships that had strayed far from the Argonian world. And what the Horde had done with the power cells that they had gained access to, had been horrific, devastating the people, the rebellions, even entire worlds that had dared fight against them. 

I have seen the devastation with my own eyes. Hell, I've even thrown the switch of weapons fueled by stolen power cells, watching unfeeling as those monstrosities attacked and killed innocents whose only crimes were trying to fight to keep their land free. My hands have run red with the blood of those I helped kill, and even a lifetime of good as She-ra AND Adora, will not help me to atone for all the evil I've done in the past. 

I shiver, cold not from the sea breeze, but from the memory of my past. From the memories that haunt me, the hazy bits of flashbacks that I can't always properly recall, a direct effect of Shadow Weaver's magic having tampered with my mind. Once it had made me cold, unfeeling, made me think the Horde was justified in doing what they had done. I had truly believed the worlds we had invaded, we had helped, had improved upon. I know better now, and shudder in revulsion to think I ever could be so deluded, even under Shadow Weaver's many spells. 

My past weighs heavily upon me, never far from my thoughts. Nor do I allow others to make excuses for it, refusing to not cast blame upon myself. I don't care that I had been kidnapped, a mere baby just days old. I don't care that I had been brainwashed, conditioned by years of abuse, and magic. Nor do I care that I spent the first 21 years of my life in what amounted to a drugged haze, most of my emotions cut off from me, all in some twisted effort to allow me to function at my most evil best. I don't care that I was as much a victim as the people that I had hurt, that I bear deep emotional scars still. I throw myself into my work, into the rebellion, into heroics as both She-ra and Adora. I've turned my back on my family, on returning to my birth land, all in an attempt to somehow right the wrongs of my past. 

I can't bring back the dead. And maybe I'm not yet powerful enough to stop the threat of the Horde once and for all. But I'll keep on fighting, keep on doing everything I can to get in their way. I can't claim it's easy, living a life as a traitor to the Horde. Even as the darling of the Rebellion, there are still many on Etheria that don't trust me, that still remember me as the lethal force captain Adora. Trust takes time to win, my sins against the people of Etheria still vivid in many's minds. 

It would be easier simply to return to Eternia. Easier to play the princess I was meant to be, to embrace the family stolen from me. I can't lie and say that some days I am not tempted, that some days I don't want to take Spirit and return to my birth land. The burdens placed on my shoulders, some put there by myself, and by the people who depend on She-ra and the Rebellion, is heavy, and I am only one woman. Powerful though I may be as She-ra, even I can give in to weakness and feel weary. Some days I just want to give it all up, forget both my life in the Horde, and my life in the Great Rebellion. 

Those days are my hardest. My lowest. The days when I grasp for any semblance of relief, self medicating, drinking, even whoring in a desperate attempt to forget for just a little while. But no matter how much I drink, or how many drugs I take, I can't ever get to that point of not feeling anything at all, nor do I like the hard truths my choices in partners bring to light about what I am truly missing. 

Or rather whom. Because I remember. And I don't want to. But there were real moments, not clouded by Shadow Weaver's magic. Moments of intimacy that went beyond sex and and cruelty. Of long nights of passion that reached past the haze I was in, to truly touch inside me. To where I felt something, was downright happy, infatuated, dare I say it in love. 

The lone sliver of light in a shroud of darkness, the times I spent alone with Catra were the only times I truly lived in all my years with the Horde. Every kiss, every touch, stolen or otherwise, breathed life and vitality into me, bringing a rush of exhilaration the likes of which I had never experienced and had yet to since then. Not even the power that infuses me as She-ra compares to the feelings, the passion I had experienced when in Catra's arms. And just like everything else about my past life in the Horde, this too haunts me. 

I think about Catra often. The thoughts don't stop even when I want them too. I remember the feel of her skin against mine, the heavy weight of her breasts in my hands, how soft and pliant they had felt to my fingers' touch. I still remember the smell of her hair, the heady jasmine of her shampoo, the sweet taste of her lips, and the rumbling purrs of approval she voiced at my fingers' caress between her legs. 

I could always make her shiver and shake, dance to the touch of my fingers. Just as she could coax screams from my throat, her fingers and mouth working me over masterfully. No woman, or man for that matter, has ever brought me the way Catra has, no one has ever even come close. 

But it isn't just the sex I miss. It's the closeness. The nights spent in each others' arms, snuggled close and talking. Whispering secrets, sharing laughs. Making plans for a life beyond that of the Horde, but knowing it would never come to be. Uniting together against the other force captains. Even celebrating victories. So many little moments to build on. So many moments that should never have been. That wasn't the life I was supposed to have had. And it was a life I was rejecting, doing my best to atone for. I couldn't, shouldn't, cling to, to the one good part of it, the one part that could prove to be my greatest temptation, my greatest weakness. Catra could prove my downfall, if I let her, and with me, all of Etheria would fall. 

I refuse to let that happen, doing all I can to stay away from her. Clashes between the Horde and the Rebellion are inevitable, She-ra often coming up against Catra or one of the many other Force Captains. But I've always been careful to keep out of Catra's grip as Adora. I fear I'd succumb all too easily to one of her kisses, but as She-ra, Catra's only interest in her is to kill. She won't do a thing to seduce She-ra, won't try to lure her to her side with sweet kisses and tempting caresses. 

A part of me knows I won't be able to avoid Catra for much longer. That inevitably our paths will cross. And yet I keep foolishly asking for more time, hoping the Gods will grant me that time to prepare myself for coming reckoning. As if somehow, my heart will have readied itself, losing the love it has for that beguiling female. 

Today is not that day. The feelings I have for Catra bloom as strong now as they did six months ago, the pain of our separation just as poignant now as it was then. I still find myself drawn to black haired beauties, wanting to fill the void in my life with even just a look alike of her. But I don't limit my partners to one specific look, to conscious of how scrutinized my every action is as one of the leaders of the Great Rebellion. 

Take the man approaching me now. Decidedly not female, he is tall, ruggedly handsome, and very muscular. Broad of chest, he has fiery red hair that even colors his trim little beard. His dark eyes seem to gleam in the sunlight, and his walk is decidedly more confidant than mine was on this ship. But he's had years to practice, making his living out on the open sea. 

"There you are, Adora." He greets me, but he's not smiling. 

I look up at him, and inwardly sigh. He's not thinking of sex at the moment, and that means he'll want to have a talk I want to avoid. "I didn't expect you to be up and dressed for at least another hour, Seahawk." I say to the pirate. 

"I didn't expect that either, till I woke up to an empty bed." He complained. 

"I just couldn't sleep." That was all I offered as way of an explanation. 

"You could have woken me up then. We could have talked." I must have winced then, Seahawk's lips twitching in frown. "But you wanted to avoid that, didn't you?" 

There's nothing I can truly say that wont be a lie, and he knows it. I don't even shrug, pretending the flapping of a loosening canvas sail is suddenly the utmost in fascinating. Workers have noticed it too, shouting out orders, the men moving efficiently to lash and tighten the sail before it snaps free and unravels completely. We won't lose even seconds off our time, might even reach the port earlier than expected. 

And then Seahawk is laying fingers on my cheek, a gentle brush of them in an attempt to get me to look back at him. Holding in my sigh, I turn with his fingers urgings. lifting my eyes to meet his dark gaze. The concern there only annoys me. I like it much better when he looks at me with an appetite for sex and appreciation for what I can offer. 

"Adora...." He starts to say, but I step past him. 

"There's still so much to do." I say, my tone light. "I want to go over the castle blue prints Larg sent over once more. Check the supplies we're brining....contact Frosta and Castaspella one last time." 

"The Queens run whole kingdoms." Seahawk said, "They will have no problem maintaining the Rebellion in your absence. As for the other tasks, Bow and Glimmer can see to them." 

"I can't just leave all the work on their shoulders...." 

"Nor can you put all of it on your own!" Seahawk snapped, grabbing hold of my arm. I could tell his annoyance made him rougher than he meant to be, his movements jerky as he spun me around to face him. "Adora, you must stop and take a moment for yourself..." 

"I've taken several moments." I almost smirk them, my gaze bold as I look at him. "Earlier with you." I remind him sweetly, running fingers over the front of his chest. He hadn't bothered to put a shirt on, hurrying out to look for me clad only in his boots and trousers. 

Now his hand moved to cover mine, trapping it in place over his heart. "I can't put into words how happy it makes me, the times you choose to do that with me." 

"Then why do I feel a complaint about to be voiced?" I muttered under my breath. He picked up on my tension, his own energy reacting to it. Seahawk wasn't exactly flustered, but it became all too apparent he was unhappy. 

"It doesn't mean anything to you, does it?" His smile was almost sad. "I don't mean anything...." 

"That's not true." I quickly reply. "I consider you a great friend. Not to mention one of my greatest supports, and an ally of the rebellion." But even I knew the words rang hollow. For Seahawk didn't want to be just a friend to me. And apparently he was tired of being used as one of my sexual outlets as well. I can't say I was surprised. Not when I had noticed all the signs, Seahawk having started to act more and more like he was falling in love with me. I should have pushed him away at the first instant of affection, but fool that I am I had deluded myself into thinking that maybe this time would be different. That maybe with Seahawk, I could move on. Could forget my past, forget the Horde, forget HER. 

"I...I'm sorry." Again I looked away, staring down at our feet on the wooden planks. 

"Why are you apologizing?" A caress of his hand on my cheek, my eyes closing at that touch. 

"Because I can't give you what you want." I practically whisper it. "I can't give you any kind of true commitment, can't be anything more than your friend. You deserve better than this Seahawk....better than me." 

"Hey!" He snapped out an admonishment. "Don't put yourself down like that!" But I could see the disappointment in his eyes. It made me wonder if he had truly thought a different outcome had been possible from confronting me about our relationship and the oddity of it, or if even going in, Seahawk had known he was going to come away hurt and disappointed. 

"I mean it." Seahawk continued. "I know you think you have a lot to atone for, for the things in your past. For the things you were brainwashed to do as a member of the Horde but....Adora, you can't walk around hating yourself all the time, you know?" 

"Enough people will do that for me..." I murmur, thinking that at least half the population of Etheria still thought badly of me, or at the very least mistrusted me. I didn't want to even think about the other worlds I had been to, the other worlds I had helped the Horde invade. 

"Fuck 'em." Seahawk said harshly. "You're doing good now. If they can't appreciate the present over the past, then to hell with 'em I say!" 

I found myself nodding, though inside I didn't truly believe it. The past affected the present, old evils being hard to forget, to atone for. It was impossible to right every wrong, but with Seahawk, there was at least one thing I could do for him that would be purely unselfish. 

"I'll have my things moved out of your private cabin." He looked surprised, but he didn't protest. "I'll go bunk with Glimmer for the rest of this trip." 

"Yeah." He said after a long moment. "Yeah, probably for the best." 

It is not easy to get over love. I know that first hand. As much as I would have loved to continue using Seahawk as an occasional lover, it would be cruel, and wholly unfair to him. It would be like giving a starving man a taste of what he could never truly have. 

I wasn't happy with the new accommodations, but knew quitting Seahawk cold turkey was what was best for him. I meant it when I said I considered him a friend, and out of respect for that friend, I considered the rest of his pirates off limits to me. I would gamble and drink with them, but I wouldn't fuck any of them, even as need built inside me to the point my roommate Glimmer began to invade my dreams. 

By the time we reached port, I was practically jumping out of my skin. I wanted, NEEDED to fuck someone. And I almost didn't care who. I'd make my excuses, taking the first available chance to slip off to scout out the town. I wasn't the only one, Seahawk's pirates spreading throughout the town streets, gathering information, checking to make no unwanted horde presence had invaded this port land. 

I chose a tavern as my basis of operation. But it wasn't for mead, but a thirst of a different kind I wanted to quench. Within minutes I had chatted up a pretty tavern wench, a beauty with hair so dark a blue it was practically black, and an intense sapphire colored gaze. 

I first thought she didn't know who I truly was, but it soon became apparent that everyone knew. That everyone had been waiting with great eagerness for the arrival of the Rebellion representatives. That so many knew, it should have set me on edge, but I was distracted, consumed with thoughts of how I could get the tavern wench naked rather than worry over who might have had the chance to betray us to the Horde. Not all the people of Etheria are good, some are greedy, and many are desperate enough to sell whatever they can for a bit of Horde money. 

And the Horde would have paid thousands if not millions of credits for the chance to know just where the rebellion representatives were to meet their Argonian escorts. After all, the Horde did not want the Rebellion to even have the chance to speak before the Argonian's new queen, let alone for us to get a chance to attain our own deal for a supply of power cells for our own use. We were a threat, even more so than usual, and the Horde should have been doing just about everything it could to stop us from leaving with the Argonians. 

I considered it a small miracle that we had made this far, leaving the safety of the Whispering Woods, to travel over the open seas. And not one time had I had to transform into She-ra. We had been lucky, and it wouldn't couldn't, last. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued....


End file.
